If Only...

The Word is first...

John 4:10 (NIV)

¹⁰ Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

The Holy Bible : New International Version. electronic ed. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984

If, only... those words haunt my decisions and fan the flames of my selfish desires like no others. Of all the bad decisions that I've made in my life, they all have this in common now; if only I had known. If only I had listened. If only I had paid more attention. If only I had given my best effort. If only I had been more concerned with someone other than myself. If... only. They are the ghosts of regret of folly and fear. They are legion.

Though I am no longer that person, though I seldom wallow in the mud of self-recriminations, nevertheless I still struggle with the "if onlies." Only now, instead of being in retrospect, they are forward looking. If only I could break that habit, then I'd be happy. If only my spouse would respect me, then I'd be happy. If only I could make more money, then I'd be happy. If only they would listen to me, things would be better. Even though the perspective has changed, the lie of the "if onlies" holds fast and beckons me to speculation and living in an alternate reality.

There is however, a single "if only" that chases away the demons of self-recrimination and washes away the mist of speculation. In today's study verse, we see an implied "if only". In his conversation with the woman at the well, the woman asked how he (Jesus) could ask her for a drink. (This of course was because it was socially unacceptable for a Jew to associate with a Samaritan, even for the necessity of water.) It is in Jesus' reply that we see the one true 'if only.'

'Jesus answered her, "If [only] you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him [instead] and he would have given you living water."' While there is plenty of material in this one sentence for sermons and lessons, my take-away today is one of conviction and concern.

How many souls across eternity had lamented "if only I had known the truth of Jesus I would not be suffering in Hell now." If only. I myself met the Son of God at the well and he poured living water into my soul indeed. Yet he did not do this to merely satisfy my 'thirst.' He did this that I might turn and pour it into the one I meet 'at the well.' And here is where the conviction sets in. How many people, one day, will declare... "Carl! If only you had told me of Jesus, I would not be suffering in Hell now." If only I would have opened the streams of living water that flow within me, the needs (the real needs) of another may have been met.

I'm a busy guy, a bit of a Martha I am afraid and what I'm learning (slowly and painfully) is that the 'work' I do is of little consequence compared to the love I share. Going forward, I must forget about all the 'if onlies' in the past, set aside my selfish 'if onlies' for the future and focus on the 'if only' of right now. If only I shared Jesus in everything I think, say and do. If only I share Jesus with you.

Shalom,
Carl